I'm not in a good mood.
A feeling that Natsuko has probably never known of me in the two years we have been together, Alan has not seen in the four years we've been doing athletics and possibly something friends from PA and NYC have not experienced from me in the up to 20yrs we've been friends.
This is foreign, the roots of which are typically solved through exercise, but this morning was different. One hour run and 3000m swim were not enough. My brain was consumed with worries about work. These worries usually fade at some point between 500 and 1000m so you can imagine the surprise when it was fresh in my thoughts during the warm down.
The concerns center around the fact that it's now 11pm and instead of getting ready for bed, I see nothing but a long night of work ahead and likely the same for the rest of the week, possibly weekend and into next. Not fully a concern of the work, because hours and effort I can schedule around, much of it is the uncertainty of some of the work. I feel for the first time that I am not excelling in my performance at work and to a certain extent maybe letting people down (also a new feeling).
I need to take a break, step back, refocus and appreciate that things are probably not as bad as I'm making them out to be. The issue, I don't see time for this. And with that, I'm off to review documents.