Too much

Despite good intentions, I couldn't get up this morning for a swim.  Sleeping by 2.30, the 4.30 alarm was quickly shut off and next thing I knew it was 6.45 and too late to organize myself for the pool.  So, I readily accepted missing a second straight swim session (rather unexpected given I usually hyperventilate if any session even has to be moved from it's scheduled time) got my stuff ready for work and an evening run and headed out the door.

Work day was par for the course lately, a day full of meetings with no time to actually complete any work.  5pm struck and in an overwhelming fit of angst and frustration, I threw together the necessities for my run and took off for the gym.  Good run session, tight at first but opened up after 15mins and covered over 13k (8mi) in about 60min.  Feeling good, I stuck in the gym for a core and legs session.  Brain now clear, I headed back to my desk with a plan.

I've decided that I am going to work this weekend.  I don't mean read a few emails, I mean work, lots of work.  Train, some time with Natusko and work.  And when Monday comes around, I'm going to sit down with my manager, let her know I've caught up on my work, what it took to get me caught up and that the last five weeks are not sustainable, I can not continue at this pace, something has to change.  Forget the fact that I'm training for any sport, I've been working minimum 12hr days for over a month now (including a number of 15, 16, 17hr days) and while I don't mind this for a week or two, I see no let up in site.

Should be an interesting conversation given I'm no good at sticking up for myself.  Not sure what it is, but I have a built in sense that avoids confrontation at almost any cost (I guess impinging on my ability to eat dinner at home and make training sessions is where I feel pushed enough to draw the line).  This will be good for me and fits what I often remind myself, 'doing things out of your comfort zone is how you grow, be it athletics or life in general, so try to do something outside that zone on a daily basis, even if it's something simple.'